“There’s just so much love in our house. It’s a fun place to be!”
On the fourth day of LGBTQ+ Adoption and Fostering Week 2024, Rhiannon and Tonya share how they became parents through adoption, and pass on their advice to anyone thinking about doing the same.
Starting or growing your family through adoption can be exciting but daunting at the same time. You might have lots of questions about how it all works, or worries that make you think you can’t adopt, but rest assured there are lots of families out there that started out just like you and Adoption Now is here to welcome and support you all on your adoption journey.
Rhiannon is one such adopter who together with her partner Tonya applied to adopt with Adoption Now in October 2020. Rhiannon said: “Adoption was always our first route to start a family as a same sex couple. We’d been together for 10 years at this time, and in covid we just had a conversation one night saying; ‘why haven’t we done anything yet’ and there was absolutely no reason, we thought ‘when is the right time?’ and well it was then!”
There are still lots of myths out there about who can adopt, but being part of the LGBTQ+ community wasn’t something they worried about; “Our concerns were around not having enough childcare experience, so we did volunteering and it was more a worry about how long the process would take and how old we were, because we’re older than a typical parent and we have a few health needs but these weren’t an issue. Once we realised that being open and transparent actually calmed us and reassured us, we didn’t need to worry about anything, we just needed to ask the questions.”
The couple adopted their eldest son through the fostering for adoption route in mid- 2021 and came back for a second time to adopt his younger brother the following year. “We really love them and as they’ve grown up and both talk, or shout because they both don’t say it nicely it’s ‘MAMA, MAMA, MAMA’; that’s been the realisation that yes, these little people are 100% dependent on us and it’s a really nice thing.” When asked what would they say to anyone considering adoption, Rhiannon said: “Don’t wait, just do it, honestly there are difficult days, like when the kids are sick or your rushing to get from one appointment to get back to pick the other one up from nursery or you don’t know what’s wrong with the toddler, like the other week he had a melt down because he wanted the pasta that I was trying to feed him; but I wouldn’t change it for the world. The past two years has flown by and we’ve all grown and we’ve all developed as a family and there’s just so much love in our house, it’s a fun place to be; whereas previously it was just clean and tidy, it’s not that anymore, there’s toys everywhere but it’s great!”
Around a quarter of the adopters approved by Adoption Now last year were from the LGBTQ+ community, that’s an increase of 7% from the previous year. Now more than ever Adoption Now needs adopters from all walks of life, including those of any gender or sexual orientation, with or without disability and from a wide range of ethnic backgrounds. You can be single or in a relationship, can rent or own your own home and importantly in the current economic climate, we wish to reassure that you do not need to be rich to adopt, our wonderful children just need stability and security.
Plus, it can take as little as six months to be approved!
If you’re worrying about anything being a barrier for you then please talk to us. Chances are we’ve heard it before and it might not be as big a deal as you think, but either way we’ll provide you with open and honest advice to help you going forward. Our children and families are at the heart of everything we do, and you will be supported by a professional, dedicated and supportive service that will be with you every step of the way.
Adoption Now is a corporate sponsorship partner of Proud 2 b Parents, covering the areas of Blackburn with Darwen, Bolton, Bury, Oldham, Rochdale, Tameside and beyond. If you would like to find out more about adopting with Adoption Now visit www.adoptionnow.org.uk or call 01204 336096.
