Shaun’s Story

"'Daddy gone work', were the words that hurt the most, every time I left the room or had to go out he would say it over and over again. My son was growing up with a dad who was distant, not there, always at work! I didn’t want this. Something had to change.

The day our gorgeous boy moved in he was everything we had ever wanted. A baby in our arms, my partner took to his new role straight away. He did the feeds throughout the night, he got into the new routine and met his every need. But I was struggling. I wasn’t connecting. I was being pulled in every which way. Work had contacted me and demanded I returned to work. Cutting my leave short as I was needed back in work. 'You better be in on Monday!' was my Manager's voicemail message.

I couldn’t cope. I kept crying. My partner knew I wasn’t right. This was not me. But he was trying to keep us all together, meeting the needs of our son whilst trying to support me. We know now this was Post Adoption Blues. The Social Workers who were supposed to visit us weekly didn’t come and I couldn’t breathe.

I went to the doctors and told them how I was feeling. Whilst recognising it was potentially work related stress they also said, ‘If you're not feeling connected to your little one you can always return them as sometimes it doesn’t work out’. This statement kick started my paternal instincts to protect, love and look after my son. Over the coming weeks things started to change.

A grievance with work and a meeting with Managers allowed me a further two months off. This time cemented everything I knew I could be as a parent. And I fell head over heels in love with my son. He really is my world."