“It’s Sushi Rolls, not Gender Roles”

Gender roles have long been a topic of discussion, challenging societal norms and expectations. As LGBT+ foster carers, my partner and I often find ourselves at the intersection of these discussions. Not only do we navigate the complex world of fostering, trauma behaviors, and attachment difficulties, but we also face persistent questions about our ability to care for a child of a different gender.

Our experience sheds light on the importance of reevaluating traditional gender roles and understanding that our caring role is about understanding, care, and providing a safe and nurturing environment, regardless of gender.

One of the most common challenges we face is the relentless stream of assumptions about how we care for a girl placed with us. Questions arise, such as who does her hair, who enjoys "girly time" with her, or who paints her nails. These questions reflect deeply ingrained gender stereotypes that dictate how we are expected to act based on our genders.

We believe that it's essential to challenge these gender norms, not only for our own benefit but also for the children we care for. Here's why:

• Individuality Matters: Every child is unique, regardless of their gender. Their interests, needs, and preferences should be celebrated and supported without imposing predefined gender roles.

• Breaking Barriers: Encouraging children to explore interests and activities traditionally associated with the opposite gender can help them develop a broader perspective and a more inclusive worldview.

• Embracing Diversity: Families come in all forms and compositions. By challenging traditional gender roles, we contribute to a more inclusive society that values diversity and respects different family structures.

• Focusing on What Matters: When we prioritise understanding , care, and emotional support, we empower children to thrive and overcome challenges, regardless of who does their hair or paints their nails.
  

Our journey as foster carers is also marked by the complex terrain of trauma behaviors and attachment difficulties. These challenges affect every aspect of a child's life, making it even more crucial to focus on their emotional well-being rather than conforming to gender roles.

As LGBT foster carers, we are committed to providing a caring and supportive home for children in need. Our journey has taught us that challenging traditional gender roles is not only essential for the well-being of the children we care for but also for creating a more inclusive and compassionate society.

We should be focusing on what truly matters—nurturing the emotional and psychological growth of children, breaking free from restrictive gender norms, and embracing the diversity of families and individuals that make our world unique.